Tuesday, February 23, 2010

pizza burns and aching bones

Im about to embark on another few hours of fun filled mandatory training at work. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. I would do something sneaky like make out my grocery list, or list all my favorite books and movies in alphabetical order during class, but we will be tested on the stuff, so I have to sort of pay attention. The thing is, its not even useful stuff. It has no bearing on what I do what so ever. But its one of those things..."everyone" must attend.

The brightside is that GICOE wont be there. He took his last week.

I have this annoying burn-painful-thing on the roof of my mouth. It has to be from the pizza I ate on Saturday...because I havent eaten anything but diet bars, protein shakes and salad since..but boy is it annoying. My problem is...with pizza, I love it so much that I cant wait for it to cool off. I.must.eat.it.now. You would think I would learn my lesson, but I dont.

My body is aching, because on Sunday I decided to take the boys plus one friend to the ball field and we (yes, this includes me) practiced and practiced. Throwing, catching, and hitting. I was the pitcher...which meant I had to chase 95% of the balls that were hit. CHASE..as in RUN. Im too OLD for this stuff, obviously. Oh, I felt all cool and athletic while I was doing it..but now I hurt. Alot.

This morning I was extracting two weiner dogs and a poodle (we are dog sitting..yes, I said poodle)from the bed, because none of them will get out of the warmth willingly to go out in the cold and go potty. The only one who looks forward to it, is my hyper "can we go" terrier Joey, whom I never have to coax anywhere. Anyway, I had a point.....oh, yeah. The three dog extraction HURT...it required bending and lifting times three. Im so old.....when did all this happen to me?

Now, I must go so I can get a seat in the very back of the room, so I can sit back and look for people doing stupid things that I can blog about.

Monday, February 22, 2010

It's a Conspiracy

Someone, or something is trying to drive me nuts. I swear..and it is probably working. The have started with infilterating my dreams and worked their way into my the brains of my children.

Exhibit #1

The other night I dreamt I was at Disneyland and on some random ride that doesnt really exist there. The ride was going upside down and me and a friend I havent talked to in like ten years were on it and doing the cursory "Im not really scared, but I feel like screaming" scream as the ride was turning us on our heads. The friend's scream turned into a real scream, so real that I refused to look in the direction of what was so horrifying. Apparantly a young girl had fallen out of the ride. Despite this fact, the ride we were on kept going...KEPT turning us upside down. When we finally got off, we found out that the girl had landed on "grid #8", next to the chocolate covered frozen banana kiosk.

Exhibit #2

Another really wierd dream that I can barely remember. It involed that dude Owen from Grey's Anatomy, and circus dogs, and me. 'Nuff said? Not quite....I had cancer later in the dream (who am I? Izzy?). Wierd. And Owen isnt even my favorite boy doctor on the show! (Its kind of a tie between Dr. McDreamy and Alex....Sloan is growing on me too, with his newly expressed sentimentality over his grandbaby...even though I always thought he was cute, he was kinda shallow.)

Exhibit #3

My daughter decided it would be fun to chew on some green paper she found in her older brother's room, then remove it from her mouth and roll the paper in her hands until they turned green from the dye, THEN GAVE THE SPIT DRENCHED PAPER TO HER LITTLE BROTHER, so he could color his hands too. Then the two of them come upstairs to eat lunch with a mess all over their hands. I dont think so.

Exhibit #4

All last week, I was looking foward to a NICE work week this week. Reason? GICOE was going to be gone until the first of next month. Starting TODAY!! So I show up all chipper this morning, whistling even, and go into the building and stop dead in my tracks. GICOE's door is open and his light is on. Thinking it was someone else in his office for what ever reason, I peek around the corner. There is GICOE, sitting at his desk grunting and making other various noises. I felt like I had been kicked in the ribs...I turned to a co worker a few minutes later after I caught my breath, and was informed that his business trip had been cancelled. CRAP!!!! What a dirty, rotten trick to play on me.

So, if Im found later on today or this week, sitting in a corner playing with my mouth and humming softly to myself....you will all know why.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Rant #579

This post and its rantings are in no way in any order or will probably make any sense to anyone else but me. But...thats ok. Its therapy and I need it.

I had stinking mandatory training today. I made sure to bring a couple of needles with me in my purse, just in case I was given the option of sticking them in my eyes, instead of sitting through training. No option was given though, so I had to sit through the crap.

I do kind of think its hillarious though when a group of adults get admonished for "giggling" in class, and get threatened with teaching the class themselves. No, I was not one of these people...well, I was, but not one that got caught.

My boss, GICOE 2 (if you have been reading for a while you know what that stands for), gave me a bunch of orders before he left for an entire week, but did so without giving me ALL the information. Nice. So thorough and on top of things. So, Im guessing they just wont get done.

I just put in an order for paper, five boxes of COPY paper for the office here. So, the guy that was supposed to go pick it up goes over to the place where we get it from and says he is there to pick up the "paper work". This is the same knucklehead who did this two weeks ago upon being asked to do the very same thing.

Last night I signed the boys up for little league. I specifically requested a certain coach for one of them, and upon being asked, I specifically said that "no, he is not ready for Majors yet". It fell on deaf ears and so they will wonder why he is not at try outs. They mumbled something about not having enough boys for a major team if they dont get more. Not my fault. My son was never allowed to play sports in any home he has ever been in, and so last year was his first. He improved a lot last year, but also sat out a lot so the "hot dogs" could get all the time. Now the same "hot dogs" will be moving to Majors, and the same coach wants my son there too. Not happening this year. He will play on the minors with kids closer to his level of skill, and will not sit on the bench, and NO, I could care less if there is a Major team or not. My son comes first. Deal with it.

There was another poodle in the "Best in Show" lineup again this year at West Minster. Thank God that it didnt win. Not that I really detest poodles or anything, because I dont. But I am sick of them dominating the dog show world. Enough already. Im glad the Scottie won, even though I was routing for that gorgeous Doberman, CJ.

My youngest is getting quite the mouth on him and its mostly aimed at his sister. I know its terrible, but some of the things he says are really funny.....and its soooo hard not to laugh. I have to turn my back or leave the room for a second before I can say, "Youre not being very kind, leave your sister alone". Im not sure Im going to make it.....

Friday, February 12, 2010

Vomit, Taxes, Fun Dip, and Divorce.

So today was interesting and Im exhausted. The hub and I went out to Breakfast together, something we havent done for a loooong time. We were perusing the local ads and here is something that we found:

Roses are red, violets are blue
You broke the seventh commandment
Now Im divorcing you.

Sincerely, ]

Good Luck Billy Ray

Seriously, someone put that in the personal ads.

So then we went to do our taxes. It was taking forever, and sooner or later I had to leave to go get the kids from school while T stayed behind and took care of business. The kids were all chatty and pumped up from the bucket loads of sugar that the school pumped into them for valentines day parties today. I returned to the tax office with kids in tow, told them to sit in the waiting room chairs and read their books, that we would be done in a minute (we could see them from the desk we were at). No sooner, did that get out of my mouth than L went rushing past me toward the garbage can. He got about half way there and exploded right there in the middle of the waiting room. School provided root beer floats, candy, and chocolate milk from lunch, all released from their holding cell that was my son's stomach, now a mess in the waiting room of H&R block. Nice.

So...I set about cleaning it up, and sent him to the the bathroom to clean off his shoes, and pants that received some of the mess as well. I just about had it cleaned up when I glanced up from my squatting position on the floor at my seven year old, A, and noticed that he had a thing of Orange "Fun Dip" all over his face, sweatshirt and the blue plastic waiting room chair. I confiscated the rest of the Not-So-Fun-Dip, and sent HIM to the bathroom to clean up, and proceeded to clean up the chair. All the while S is making like Maggie Simpson with the sucking of her ring pop.
Im sure the receptionist and others in there were so glad when we were done and left.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Dear "Dear John" producers,

Have you ever heard of a Technical Advisor? You should get one, they are handy. Perhaps if you had one of these to advise you on all things military, my husband and I would not have made fun of you, and we would not still be making fun of you. A technical advisor would have made sure that you did not have John's rank insignia on upside down on his dress uniform whilst dining with Savanah. Someone must have smacked you upside the head though, because later in the same scene it was fixed. Too late though, many many people have already noticed, Im sure. Also, the same technical advisor would have been able to tell you that while stateside, a good soldier like John would not be walking around outside in uniform without his hat. That is a no no.

Why oh why did you have to deviate from the book so much? The book was good. Your movie is pathetic. While the guy that plays John is extremely easy on the eyes, the acting left much to be desired. If you can not do better than this in the future, please find a different day job.

Someone who could really use her $18.00 back.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Sunshine...on my blog...,makes me happy.

Hey, I got this award from a new blog that was recommended to me....its MomInTheTrench. Im looking foward to reading more of her blog.

Here are the rules:
Post the pic and award it to 12 other bloggers. Ok..here I go.

Monkey Trouble
Jake and Christy

Livesay (Haiti) Weblog
Pictures of Great Brittain
Mama Drama-Times Two
Lets Have a Cocktail
The Provential Rualite
Freedom From Gluten Gourmet

In comparison....

To see what kind of devestation there is in Haiti after the earthquake go to the Livesay weblog...they provide a link to the L.A. Times' photos of the heartache in Haiti. Some of it is pretty graphic, so be warned.

I have been fortunate in my life to live in this country, though Im aware we have problems too. Our problems (at least mine however) are so miniscule compared to theirs (even before the earthquake). I feel guilty for complaining earlier about having to walk an extra 75 feet or so to a different copy machine.

If you think you are having a crappy day, go to this link. It could be that your day really isnt all that crappy after all.


I usually ignore such things in emails, but this really is too frightening not share here. I have no idea where it came from so I cant give credit, but Im sure many of us have experienced things like this, although, these are particularly bad.

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken Mc Nuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider',
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'O K ,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM 'thingy'
(keep shuddering!!)

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to
me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!!!

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photo copier', the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it on the photo copier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother
says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

A silent moment

Im sitting here in the living room and the house is quiet. I usually have the tv on at least for background noise, but not tonight. The silence is really wonderful. This is what I hear:

Some wierd humming noise from outside
Cars in the distance
Dexter (our latest canine addition) snoring
and the tap tap tapity of my computer keys

Thats it.

Much better than last night. Some wayward teenagers were roaming the streets like alley cats last night, making all dogs for miles bark. Evidentally they thought it would be fun to take several trash cans from yards and pile them to together in the middle of the street. Of course I NEVER did anything like that when I was a punk.
I mean, filling an entire shopping cart up with the weirdest things we could find in a store (like "depends") and then walking away, is not even close to being as obnoxious as the garbage can kids, right? Or annoying the local McD's by WALKING through the drive through in pajamas? (Im going to stop here. Its all you really need to know right now about that. Really.)

I spent a fairly peaceful night with the kids. We took the dogs for a walk, ate dinner, and just sort of lounged around. The boys played a game and I found myself laying on S's bed, playing Barbies with her. I was being ridiculous in my play which made her belly laugh and now I have a new favorite sound. I just love her laugh, especially when Im the cause of it.

Ive been feeling really close to her as of late, which is a fantastic thing, and something pretty new, to be perfectly honest with you. When you adopt, it sometimes takes you a while to really "fall in love". I mean you love the child, of course, but it takes a while to really fall in love, if you know what I mean. Those of you who have adopted older children will know, Im sure. Anyway, Im enjoying it. I wish that it would have come sooner, but its here now. She is such a sweet gentle soul, too naive (yes, even for a nine year old) and too eager to please. The last two being a dangerous combination for the teenage years. I am just holding on to the hope that she will hold on to her sweet disposition, because I know how nasty teens can get. I would really rather keep her nine and a half forever.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Bad bad bad blogger.

That's me. Im awful. I have not been around to do my blog, or to read blogs, Im afraid. You see...my life has gone nuts. Work is worse than ever, and I dont even want to talk about this class Im in now. I just decided to go for my Masters too, but now.....Im not so sure.This.class.sucks.

Anyhow, I miss all of you and your blogs (for those who have them)and hope you are all doing well.

The kids are doing great. Just got report cards, everyone improved from last time. L went went from mostly As to all As. S's grades have come up (not that they were bad before, but there was room for improvement), and behavior is still a non issue. A's grades have gone up, and his behavior has improved slightly (I wont go here though, because I think his teacher is clueless).

Im reliving the nightmare of mean little girls though. S is having some problems with a couple of girls at school. Somedays they are friends, somedays they arent. I hate that. Little girls are sooooo mean. I want to tell her to ignore all of them for about three years, I want to tell her that boys are more fun, until say about 11 years old and then they are mean and she needs to stay away from them until she is 20. Sounds good to me.

I had a sad momemt this morning, while looking over S's homework packet. She has to take her spelling words and write them in sentences. One of her spelling words was "moving" and this was her sentence:

"I hate moving because then you have to get used to their rules"

Ugh. I wanted to cry. Its sometimes easy for me to forget all they have gone through, like moving to different families, trying to fit in each place they go. Obviously, she has not forgotten, and it sounds like maybe moving still isnt far from her mind, even though she is adopted now, and is home. In my mind she is home, but maybe in hers, she is not so sure. I wish I could erase any doubt in her mind that she will never have to get used to another family's rules again.