So, A was sick the other day and the next day he was still very quiet and he looked like something was bothering him, other than having been sick, that is. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had a bad dream.
"The worst I ever had, mommy".
He told me he dreamed that he was a baby and living with his birth parents (whom he cant possibly remember), and that they did not feed him and he died.
This has been bothering me. I mean dreams are one thing, but it is entirely possible that this a memory creeping over to the preconscious from the unconscious, and has attracted the attention of the conscious eye. (ok, ignore all that psycho babble if you want, I just wrote a paper on Frueds unconscious drive theory...ignore me). Seriously though, it breaks my heart that he may have been lying in a crib hungry for who knows how long....
And what could I do really but hug him, take him upstairs and feed him whatever the heck he wanted. So thats what I did. Sometimes its so easy to forget they have a past that has nothing to do with me. For those of you who are thinking about going the down the road of older child adoption, be prepared to hear some stuff that will turn your stomach and break your heart.