Quotation of the Day

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Too True Tues(day).

Im playing along with Essie today in T3, because her post made my skin crawl, and now I must share my similar experiences. Oh, and also because she rocks. I will not however be posting a picture of the vile creature in Part 2 of this post, because...well...just because.

The topic today is compulsions...as in what actions do you take to avoid a certain unpleasant event from occuring. You know, much like an OCD type thing. I have many of these actually.

Part 1:

One time, years ago, in my early twenties, I went to put on my shoes to go to the gym. I sat on my bed and put one shoe on, and then grabbed the other to put it on. If felt a little odd. Its weight felt kind of uneven, and it seemed like the toe of the shoe felt heavier in my hand..and instead of investigating, I put my foot in. My toe smooshed up against something warm and soft, so I took my foot out. I held the shoe up and kind of shook it.

Little beady eyes and twitching nose of a little mouse emergered from the toe of my sneaker!!!!! And I flung the shoe across the room where it hit the closet door and fell with a thud to the floor. Its little stow away then scampered out and under my dresser.

I ran out of the room, and because I didnt want to deal with it later, or at all...I got my cat Spock and locked him in my bedroom.

I also put on a different pair of shoes (checking them thouroughly first), and went to the gym, leaving Spock to a tasty lunch.

So...now, I always turn my shoes upside dowwn and SHAKE them before putting them on...always. People think Im trying to get sand out, but no....just mice.

The thing is...Im not even afraid of mice....I just dont want them on my feet. They dont belong there.


Part 2:

Those of you who know what Wolf Spiders are dont need a picture....why would you want to look at one EVER again? Those of you who dont and are curious and/or sick, go look at the one on Essie's post.

When I was in my late teens we lived in a house with a basement. My room was in the basement, it was a finished basement, and I felt like I was living on my own down there by myself. I thought it was pretty cool.

One night I was laying on my bed reading or writing or something and I got up to use the bathroom. I didnt have a door on my room...I took it off because my teenager brain thought it would be better to have those beads hanging in the doorway instead. I was walking toward the beads when I caught a bit of movement in front of me on the floor...a BIG HAIRY UGLY BROWN EVIL spider was standing between me and the doorway. I tried to go around it quickly and it BLOCKED MY PATH.

Now, I know you all dont believe me, but I swear on my coffee that it is. So, I tried going the other way...it did it again....and now, I noticed there were two of them. I was completely freaked out and I began to yell...of course no one heard me, and I wasnt going to stand there while they did God knows what to me. So I backed up and took a running jump OVER the evil little bastards, through the beads and landed on my knees. I jumped to my feet and dashed up the stairs, screaming.

My dad heard me this time and met me in the kitchen, expecting to see blood or something. By the look he gave me when I said there were spiders down stairs told me he thought I had been down stairs doing drugs in my "Opium Den" as he referred to my room with the beads and the lava lamp (no...this wasnt in the sixties, it was the late 80's...I was a freak, OK?). He grabbed a can of raid or something and came down stairs, followed by my adventure seeking mother.

The horror continued because they came toward him too...and then he sprayed them. It did not kill them, oh no it did not. It turned them into little white zombie spiders...walking very slowly, white spray clung to their hairy legs..as they continued to move foward. I left at that point...I could NOT handle anymore.

My dad ended up crushing them both. No one knew what kind of spiders they were that would actually run after a person, so my mom had to find out. She put one of the little zombie corpses in a little container and took it to the Department of Agriculture. They said it was a Wolf Spider...or also known as THE AGRESSIVE HOUSE SPIDER. Yeah, I'll say they are aggressive....and no one ever believes me. It sucks.

So, I did not sleep in my room anymore, cool beads and lava lamp or not. But it didnt matter because a little while later they found me again.

I was laying (dont ask) on the kitchen floor talking to my friend Jack on the phone. I had been on the phone in that position for about an hour or so...I couldnt really go anywhere else, because it was way before cordless phones, so I was tethered to the dining room wall. I felt something strange in my hair...I sat up and ran my hand through my hair and felt something foreign (ok..Im itching right now just writing this)..I put my head down and shook my head, flinging my hand in my hair to eject whatever it was. Out fell one of those hideous creatures....It landed on the floor, turned around, flipped me off with its little spider finger, and ran under the door to the basement stairs.

SO NOW....my hands are constantly in my hair...I mean anytime Im sitting anywhere and Im idle, my hands are in my hair. It drives my husband nuts..but I cant HELP it. I have a basement now too, a finished one, and I do go down there..but I am always on the look out...and I CANNOT kill a spider, not because I feel sorry for the little dirtbags, but because Im afraid they will come after me...so I have to hire a hit man (usually my eleven year old). I will not go within 100 feet of a spider if I know its there.

22 comments:

MomInTheTrench said...

I believe you. . .little spider flip off and all.

obladi oblada said...

MIT: Lol...the chasing and blocking parts ARE true!!!!

foxy said...

One thing you should be aware of with wolf spiders: the moms carry their babies on their back. So if you ever see one and it looks kind of 'wooly' or fluffy, don't stomp it because those little babies will go in every single direction of your house. That actually happened to a friend of mine - NO LIE. Freaky spiders.

givingherallshesgot said...

I do not blame you, I constantly have my hands in my hair looking for bugs and I haven't even caught any sizeable ones in there! ICK!

I believe you. Totally believe you.

I am now very glad I do not have a basement. And I am going to pretend no bugs live around here. Because if I want it to be true enough, it will be.

MiMi said...

NO. NONONONONONO. Those spiders. I totally believe you, I have been stalked by those nasty bastards too. Every move you make, they follow. Shit. Seriously, crap, you made my skin crawl. GAH!!!
And the mouse. UGH.

MiMi said...

Oh great, I just read Foxy's comment and now I'm shuddering............ick.

Shanti said...

Ewwwwwww!!!!!!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Eeeewwwwww, to both stories. I'm going to shake my shoes from now on and wave my arms during my waking hours. And, um, I'm feeling a little itchy now...

obladi oblada said...

Foxy: Baby carrying beasts too? Ewww....

GHASG: Welcome....Thankyou for believing me!

Canadian Blend said...

Just an hour ago, as I crawled under a desk, I commented to a coworker about my dislike of spiders. I'll face any mammal, regardless of pointy-ness of teeth... but spiders, no.

We get wolf spiders here. My wife gets something a lot bigger in Vancouver (at least it looks bigger from a distance -- I've never gotten too close to one.).

Annie said...

My worst fear is the mouse in the shoe. I dread that first boot putting on of winter. Just thinking about it makes me want to barf. Luckily I live in the tropics now and all my shoes are flip flops.

Lisa said...

Ok....between you, Essie, and MITT I am not going to sleep for a week! :|

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I BELIEVE YOU!!!

The image of the white spray encrusted zombie spiders marching towards you..... I may never sleep again. And I started this!!!

Basements- I tell you, totally not worth it.

The mouse- ick, but I kind of like that you sent your cat in to have a snack, LOL!

Paula said...

I may never be right again! Blech!

Cassie said...

Ew! Ew! Ew! A spider was in your hair?! I think after maybe an hour of washing my hair I might have been able to stop screaming.

Ericka Scott said...

I honestly think I would have had to shave my head after the spider in the hair thing....just thinking about it now....EWWWW!

YogaGrrrl said...

Hey there! Now I'm itching, too - ewwwwwwwwww! You were not a freak though with your beads and lava lamp - no, you weren't! Well, if you were, I was too; I wanted beads like that too. :) Yeah, your bedroom was so cool, and it was like you had your own "pad"! Ha! Fun stuff!!!
That is SOOOOO true about those spiders, though. They are aggressive, and they chase. Freaky little things.

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Eeekkks!!! Now I am going to have bad dreams about nasty, white zombie spiders.

Njtreese said...

You, my sister in law have to buy me new pants!! I've pee'd mine!! This is the funniest post ever!!!!Nobody hates wolf spiders more than I do!! I drop whole cinder blocks on them!! One bit my Siamese, Elliot when we first moved into our house in 84. His whole face blew up! I was so mad at that spider I literally dropped a cinderblock on it, I heard it crunch, it was huge!!!

obladi oblada said...

Sorry about your pants Treese. I bet that was one loud CRUNCH..ick.

Heather Cherry said...

Okay, this was seriously one of my favorite posts ever.

obladi oblada said...

HC: Your back! yay....

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