Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Open Letter to Zen Office Guy

Dear Zen Office Guy,

While your office may provide you with a tranquil place to retreat to while at work, it is messing me all up. Consider someone other than yourself dude. Im sure that your (not one but TWO) trickling, gurgling, fountains relax you. Thats wonderful, really it is. The problem is that when you are not in your office (which is a great deal of the time) you leave your door open and the fountains on, which means when I walk by your office, I always feel like I have to pee. So, thanks for that.

Im sure that keeping your over head lights in you office off makes you feel at one with whatever,and that the soft lamp glow gives you the ambiance you desire. However, Im already tired when I come to work, and as the day progresses, I get more sleepy, so your office darkness is torture. AND that soft asian music? It doesnt help either. It makes me want some Chicken Sub Gum and hot tea BEFORE I nap.

Constantly peeing, wanting chinese food, and desiring a nap are not condusive to a productive work day. Its no wonder that you get NOTHING done, and that people are always complaining about your lack of progress.....you are TOO RELAXED.

Do no be surprised if after a hard day (my hard day, not yours), you find me in the middle of your office floor in the lotus position (or whatever the meditation position is called)....you kind of asked for it.

Sincerly,
the Classic Rock Blaring Office Girl.

9 comments:

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

The fountain alone would make me crazy. I've got someone near me who plays classical music a bit loud so I try to balance it with Springsteen every so often.

The Accidental Mommy said...

Sounds like a great place for a nap!

Macey said...

I hate when people put stuff like that in their office space. It's distracting, really.

Lisa said...

Falling asleep just reading about all the soothing stuff so can't imagine what it would be like to be around it all day.

Tara - SanitySrchr said...

And what sort of work is it you that is SSSOOO stressful that Zen is required IN OFFICE??

I'm not sure Zen would work in our office...all the electrical devices that get designed wouldn't come close to working, the structures would fall, and the accounting wouldn't be...ummm, accountable.

Cassie said...

I could probably deal with the fountains and the darkness but the soft asian music would be the final straw. LOL I wonder why I feel the need for a spa treatment?

foxy said...

That would totally put me to sleep too... like you need that at WORK!

Heather Cherry said...

Hey, can I add this one to the Open Letters Blorg?

obladi oblada said...

HC: Of course!!!!