Hello, my name is Obladi and Im a candy-holic.
I swear if I could mainline skittles or peanut M&Ms, I totally would. I could snort them I guess...I think sweet tarts would crush up nice and fine. Oh wait...FUN DIP! That comes already crushed up. Nice. Or better yet, Pixie Stix, because then I could dump the powder out and use the little paper tube it comes in as a snorting vehicle. Yeah.
Ok, Im kidding (sort of), drug abuse is NOT funny, but candy abuse is!!! As I type this, Im eating the third peice of candy I have raided from the kids personal stash. Oh, no...Im as low as they come Im...STEALING CANDY FROM BABIES!!!!!
Im eating one of those little Dum-Dum pops. Lets talk about them for a second, shall we. What cruel beast of a person came up with those? I mean they are tiny....all they do is tease you and leave you wanting more, they are ridiculously small. They are so small that I lost one inside one of my taste buds.
I really am having a candy crisis...I cannot have a bowl of candy like Jolly Ranchers on my desk at work because I will eat the whole bowl by myself. Before lunch time.
So, now you know. If you should happen to meet me on the street do not offer me a mint, or a tic-tac, all you are doing is enabling me. Thank you.
6 comments:
At a prior job, my nickname was Willy Wonka. Sprees are my fave, the one that I would mainline if I was into that sort of thing. But then I couldn't suck off that delicious outer coating and savor that first bite into that hard-pressed tart sugar wafer of deliciousness I call Heaven.
mmmmm.....
Fortunately I have no attraction for those hard candies you have named. However, I did once buy a box of Almond Roca from a boy who came to my door - and I ate the entire box that day.
almond roca..yummy.
ditto, friend. I have the same problem. Oh sorry. I did that the wrong way. start over. "Hi. My name is funnyrunner. and. um. I am a sugar-holic." Yup. Just yesterday, the 11-year-old approached me and said: "Mom? you know how you always eat my halloween candy?" (it's august, yes. he's still scarred). "well, mom - why don't you just go out and buy your own?"
good question... not such an easy answer. I don't WANT there to be candy in the house because I cannot NOT eat it!
Holy smokes! I've been avoiding skittles... but peanut M's- one word- Costco. Ditto for Jolly Ranchers except not so much now because I actually hurt my tongue with the Jolly Ranchers.
I LOVE pixie stixs and Fun Dip ('cept the blue.) But I also cross over to the other side. Hershey bars with almonds, paydays, Reese's, Kit Kat.
I buy my own candy...all the time. I think they keep it by the register just for me. :-p
Good thing we don't know each other IRL. I think I might be the equivalent of a dealer. LOL!
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