Hello, my name is Obladi and Im a candy-holic.
I swear if I could mainline skittles or peanut M&Ms, I totally would. I could snort them I guess...I think sweet tarts would crush up nice and fine. Oh wait...FUN DIP! That comes already crushed up. Nice. Or better yet, Pixie Stix, because then I could dump the powder out and use the little paper tube it comes in as a snorting vehicle. Yeah.
Ok, Im kidding (sort of), drug abuse is NOT funny, but candy abuse is!!! As I type this, Im eating the third peice of candy I have raided from the kids personal stash. Oh, no...Im as low as they come Im...STEALING CANDY FROM BABIES!!!!!
Im eating one of those little Dum-Dum pops. Lets talk about them for a second, shall we. What cruel beast of a person came up with those? I mean they are tiny....all they do is tease you and leave you wanting more, they are ridiculously small. They are so small that I lost one inside one of my taste buds.
I really am having a candy crisis...I cannot have a bowl of candy like Jolly Ranchers on my desk at work because I will eat the whole bowl by myself. Before lunch time.
So, now you know. If you should happen to meet me on the street do not offer me a mint, or a tic-tac, all you are doing is enabling me. Thank you.