Quotation of the Day

Friday, April 24, 2009

Retro Foto Friday-Child Torture Part 3

Look at my face...I'm NOT happy. We were visiting my blind grandmother, which in itself was scary, the fact that she couldnt SEE was weird for me as a kid. Her HOUSE is what really creeped me out though. She had all these stone animals in her back yard. Their features chipping away from age, their eyes blank and staring with paint-peeling-off-pupils. There were squirrels, birds, turtles, rabbits, and frogs. They all STARED at me, and when I was older and was told to go play, I would climb high in the creepy fig tree in the backyard and try to avoid their stone stares, but the eyes followed me. It was, however, better than what was INSIDE...the evil, bald, homicidal, farmer doll and the creepy coca cola elf doll....

The farmer doll was horrifying. He was bald on top of his head, and had plastic painted on hair around his head above his ears. He had a wierd smile on his face, not a nice "well hello there, how are you?" smile, it was a "hi.come here.yeah you, little girl YOU, Im gonna GET YOU". Im not exaggerating people its TRUE. I mean for one thing he was a doll of a grown man....that is ...no. He wore overalls too and had bare feet. He always sat in a chair in her living room, waiting for me. He was the first thing I looked for whenever I went there...I had to know where he was so as not to be surprised.

The coca cola elf was creepy but in a vintage coca cola elf sort of way, nothing compared to farmer Bundy..or whatever his name was. Then there were the clocks, they ticked loudly and chimed on the hour, startling me always (hey, I was on EDGE because of the farmer doll....Ok?).

The house was dark (what did she need lights for?), and smelled funny, like grandma houses do. Also, she always had Ginger Snaps for cookies, and I HATED them, but that is all she ever had, in her creepy gnome cookie jar. No wonder I have problems...


Heather Cherry said...

I feel quite certain that my mom would be creeped out by the very same things.

BTW, I set her up with a blog but she hasn't had time to mess with it yet.

obladi oblada said...

I actually thought about your mom after I wrote it, wondering if stone animals creeped her out too.

Oh, good, I hope she posts soon.

Adoption Etiquette said...

Ah, the fake animals of Grandma's house. Mine had wooden butterflies and squirels screwed to the side of her house and a fake plastic deer. Oh it took many-a-judo-chop to destroy that sucker when she wasn't around. moohahaha


obladi oblada said...

HC: Yes! I have been to her blog..Im a fan of your mum, she is very cool.

Ali: judo chop...lol. Id like to do that to the farmer doll, whereever his evil butt is at now..

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