I really like the True Tuesday idea this week, suggested over at Essie's. I like it because its not about the stupid things I have done, but stupidity from others. And, Im always up for that. This week we are discussing bad parenting advice. I have a lot of these from the kids' foster parents, and believe it or not, their OLD therapist.
When I first met the kids, the foster mom said that A wouldnt sleep very well and would wake up at at the very early hours and play (like 2 or 3 am), so she told me to give him Benadryl to make him sleep...what is so bad about this, is the real reason he was up sooo early. She would expect him to sleep 12 hours a night (so, to bed almost right after dinner) on top of a two hour nap in the afternoon. It never occured to her that he wasnt staying asleep because he simply could NOT SLEEP ANYMORE. I, of course, discarded her advice, gave him a later bedtime and cut out the naps (unless he needed one or wanted one) and wouldnt you know it.....he slept all night long, from the first night home with us. Are people really that dumb? Yep, they are.
The other bit of advice she had for me was when he couldnt remember to tie his shoe (at barely five years old), she said I shouldnt help him...let him "remember" all by himself. When he was in tears because he couldnt do it and no one would help him, it was suggested that maybe he couldnt remember at the moment because of meeting his new parents, and getting ready to move, etc...his life being turned upside down, etc, and all the trauma associated with that. So, finally she agreed that I should help him. That poor kid, in the hands of clueless woman. Oh this is the same person who said that I could save money by making all three kids share bath water. Im pretty sure that the money the state gave her for fostering would have covered clean bath water for all. Unbelievable.
The brilliant (not) therapist they had before coming to us, told us that we should not teach against "stranger danger" because it is often a "stranger" who helps them when they are in trouble. While, this makes sense to a certain degree because many children are preyed on by people they know, many are still preyed upon by strangers. Besides, we werent going to prey on them and it is the strangers I am worried about, so I threw that advice right out the window. I think he needs to watch the news a little more, it is full of abductions by both but family is still safer, in my opinion. So, there you have it. Some very bad advice, in my opinion.