..is kind of what Ive been doing today. I have spent several hours in class, trying to write a ridiculous paper having to do with statistics and hypothesis testing and blah blah blah blah orgle, diggle, rarstic, froo. Well, that is how it all sounds to me, all this number mumbo jumbo. I might as well be reading and trying to decipher Martian. I.dont.get.it.
After torturing myself enough for one day, I decided to do nothing but blog surf. There are some wonderful bloggers out there, and they inspire me. I need some inspiration too because I feel so stagnant. The holidays are over. Now what? I guess this is why people make resolutions, so they have something to ponder. Ive already addressed my non resolution making feelings, but it doesn't mean I don't have PLANS.
I have a huge calendar sitting on my desk here at work and aside from one dentist appointment, one vet appointment, one hair appointmen, one basketball practice, and one glorious day of respite(Yessssss), that is pretty much it. Oh, I KNOW it will fill up and it will get crazy like it always does. I guess my point is (if I even have one)that instead of making resolutions I am pondering what Id like to do, if only my calendar would stay blank.
So, what Ive been pondering (that is a neat word, my favorite for the week,I think)is all over the place, as I'm sitting here listening to the wind howl and ignoring the phone as its ringing; yes, I AM at work. I'm pondering vegetables for one thing. It is so expensive to buy them, and kids need them. I'm pondering a garden and how nice it would be to have our own. This is not a new ponderance (is that a word?), I ponder this every year.
I'm pondering cauliflower and how much I like it. I'm pondering making cauliflower soup from the recipe on Pioneer Woman's site.
I'm pondering books and what I should read next, now that Ive decided to turn the TV off during the last part of my "me" time, which occurs after the kids go to bed.
I'm pondering on the scrap booking thatI have let slip, because I'm so busy with the things that have not yet filled my calender. I'm pondering digital scrap booking specifically.
I'm pondering how I feel like I am not what I thought I am or what I desire to be. I'm not the type of person I strive to be. I only thought I was, and I (and God) have a lot of work to do. I'm pondering at the failure of a few things in my life and the successes of others. I'm pondering the power of prayer and why I don't rely on it more.
I'm pondering, of course, my children and how to discover each of their individual personalities better. I tend to view them as a unit, and I know that they are so much more than that. I'm pondering where the time to get to know, really know, them better once the calender fills up is going to come from. I am also pondering how to be a better wife and the effort that will have to go into that because I feel so busy all the time.
So, not really resolutions, just things that are important to me and that are on my mind. I will try to do some of these things, I really will. I just don't like the pressure a resolution puts on me.
The thesaurus that sits near me for assistance in plagiarism avoidance says this under ponder: consider, meditate on, reflect on, contemplate, think over, ruminate, study over, and rack one's brain (it really does say that), just to name a few.
So, at the start of this shiny new year,why not give pondering a try. While you still have time.