Corrupting my mother

My parents and brother are in Hawaii,and they call every night at my insistance. I want to hear it ALL.

Apparently, they went to a coffee plantation and sampled and bought coffee. My mother doesnt drink coffee. Never has. Infact, a day or so before she left she told me I needed to "break that nasty addiction" because I hadnt had my coffee and I was quite angry about it.

At the plantation, she had coffee!! Some coconut, caramel type. As my brother was telling me this, I just couldnt believe it.

Will: Guess what she might try later?

Me: Uh, Cigarrettes? (she has never smoked either)

He repeats this to my mother, who laughs maniacally (I love this word).

Will: Some White Zinfidell that I bought.

Me: (speechless for a moment)..you're evil.

She doesnt, nor did she ever drink. What is happening to my mother? In the back ground she says something like, "I only have about ten more years to live".

Me: Tell her to shut up (I hate it when she talks about her dying)

My mother has the most rich, morbid sense of humor for such a sweet lady. She does. She says things that you do not expect her to say. Last year she said the new young Dr that was working at her doctors office was "eye candy". Ok, thats not morbid, but it is not something that you would expect from her. I guess her humor is shocking, although it can be morbid.

Ok, its against my better judgement to tell you this, but here it is. Please dont judge, she really is the nicest lady and would never make light of tragedy.

One day last summer I took her for a (very slow) ride on the sea doo. We figured the safest way for her to get on was if she got on while the machine was on the trailor. Once she got on it on the trailor we backed it into the water. While hub was backing and I was controlling the rope tied to the sea doo, and she was easing down the ramp into the water, she made a comment about Susan Smith-remember the woman who drove her van into a lake with her two boys inside? Yeah, it was shocking, but also, in a wierd way, very funny.

For one thing I didnt realize she even remembered that, let alone the woman's name.

Much to my relief, she took one sip of the wine and thought it was gross. Phew.