Bitter Sweet New Years Eves

So New Years is Eve is kind of a wierd time for me. Up until about last year (when we got the kids) we used to have these huge New Years Eve bashes at our house. I mean they were pretty big. Now Im just looking forward to spending a quiet night at home. We play some games, maybe watch a movie and eat all kinds of crap (what we all need right?).

New Years eves have mostly good memories for me, and one terrible one that is always hanging in the back of my mind no matter what I do. When I was a kid my mom always made all kinds of awesome snack stuff...always made onion dip for chips, which was awesome and to this day eating onion dip is part of New Years Eve memories.In the 80's one year, it was just my mom and I one New Years Eve and we were eating a bunch of stuff and I was watching MTV and making her watch some videos too, Duran Duran sticks out in my mind mostly, the "Rio" video...what year was that anyway?

One New Years Eve I spent under the Eiffel Tower, and it was completely crazy...bottle rockets or whatever just whizzing by your ear. Dangerous, but fun. Paris is nuts on New Years Eve, at least it was that year.

One year when I was eleven my best friend who was 12 died in the children's hospital in Seattle. On New Years Eve. Her little sister, who was 8, was staying at our house because my parents were taking care of her while her parents were at the hospital, as they often were during their daughters fight with cancer. I remember having the typical snacks made by my mom and it had been snowing for the past day and there was a lot of white stuff on the ground. It was dark outside, and K and I were hyper from all the junk we ate and we were running around playing in the snow in my back yard, and I might be wrong about this, but I believe it was right after midnight, or right before, I forget. My mom called us in and said that her parents would be coming to pick her up. That is all she said, and it was all she had to say...to me anyway. My mom was able to hold it together until K went home, then she confirmed to me that P had indeed passed away.

Not a New Years eve passes when I dont think about that. How as children, we were able to put the inevitable behind us and enjoy the moment at hand. Maybe she didnt really understand at eight years old, but I did. Somehow I was able to have a good time that night despite being awaare of the cloud that was looming over head, waiting to burst at any moment. Maybe it was a gift that it happened on that night, not that I would have forgotten her, but I think that her memory and the memory of her passing is that much stronger because God chose to bring her home on that night. Its a painful time, yet I am able to think of all the good times that we had together too, and I thank God that I was able to know her if only for a little while.

Apologies....

Playlist.com is being difficult. Their songs are not playing and so I was only able to load one new song. They need to get with the program very soon. This is no way to start a New Year. I NEED music. now.

Merry Christmas...God bless us, everyone.

Well its almost done for another year. We went to the candlelight service at church, and it was good. Someone sang O Holy Night, so beautifully it moved us to tears, in fact. Another year of my children successfully lighting and holding candles during the service and not causing a fire. So Ive got that going for me.

We came home and the kids opened one present each and played with their stuff for a little bit while munching on cookies and candy. T and I watched a little bit of White Christmas. Kids put out cookies and milk for Santa. We cant put them on the fire place hearth (or whatever its called) because the dogs would eat (and fight over) the cookies and the cat would drink the milk, so we left it all on the kitchen counter with a note to Santa telling him where to look.

Then we took nine baby carrots and threw them on the lawn for the reigndeer (nine, because we count rRudolph). Which reminds me I CANNOT forget to go out there and pick them up, and leave one with a bite in it on the lawn.

The kids went off to bed and I filled the stockings. I had thought I lost my mind at one point because I could have sworn I bought two little cat toys for the cats little stocking, but I could only find one. I looked everywhere where I was working, I even emptied stocking I already filled in case I put it in one by mistake. I checked in the closet and didnt find it. Then I saw the cat sitting rather smugly (well, how else do they look really?) at the top of the stairs, so I had an idea. I went down stairs and sure enough, there was the catnip mouse, still attached to the cardboard, and wet with cat spit. Sneaky little creep, she took it while I was stuffing stockings. So, I took it away and put it in the stocking. At least I know she likes it.

I am all done preparing the breakfast for tomorrow. Company eggs or breakfast casserole. I plan on posting the recipe sometime this week, Now, all I have to do is pop it in the oven in the morning and its done. Sweet. Now Im tired, so Im going to go to bed and try to get some sleep before the kids wake up. So...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.

For moi????

MIMI at Living in France just gave me this really sparkly award and it made me super happy. Thank you Mimi. Check her blog out, she cracks me up. So, Im going to spread the happiness and pass it on to Reighnie at Monkey Trouble and A over at My Life is Funny Like That.

Im almost done....

..with everything having to with Christmas. Almost. All my shopping is done. Thank God, because Im afraid if I was out there right now, Id kill someone. Not really, but you know what Im saying, right?

I actually have an urge to go to the mall and just sit on a bench with a peppermint latte, and watch (and laugh at)people. Doesnt that sound fun? I may do just that.
My poor husband is out shopping, and Ill bet he is NOT laughing.

I only have a few more things to wrap. All stocking stuffers are neatly organized into bags of whose stocking they go in, including three dogs and a cat, so all I have to do is transfer contents. I baked a bunch of cake balls yesterday. If you want to know what a cake ball is go here. They are delicious and pretty easy to make. I also made Buckeyes, the delicious chocolate peanut butter treat I love oh so much. I made a big batch of Apple Dumplings (made with Mountain Dew)...to get that awesome recipe go here.

I put together little packages of cake balls and Buckeyes and several pans of Apple Dumplings and delivered them to some of my friends last night. Actually I drove and the kids delivered. The lady who is in charge of the children's church at church was thrilled that they delivered goodies to her and thanked her for being the childrens church leader (at my urging of course). Tonight, I will probably deliver a few more.

At some point Im going to have to make more of everything, since it wont go over very well at my house if we dont have some to devour ourselves. Of cours, I have been eating some as I go along. I have to make sugar cookies for the hub, cause he loves them and oatmeal cookies for my dad. I havent decided to have the traditional breakfast casserole yet or not....I probably should, its pretty good. Cant very well throw cold cereal at the fam, or can I? No, prolly not.

Now if Wednesday would get here, so I only have a 1/2 day of work and then off for the rest I would be happy. Oh and it would help if the dirty rotten cat would STOP hiding under the tree, tormenting the dogs and causing a ruckus. That would help a lot.

I stole this from Masshole Mommy..because I liked it. There were no rules for it or anything, so I hope its ok....I still dont know all the blogging ettiquette rules, etc. So, I hope she doesnt mind. Her blog is pretty entertaining so you should check it out.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate. But if given a real choice, I would pick Peppermint latte or something.


2. Letter to Santa?
Nope. I prefer to email. I wish he would get on facebook or something.


3. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
Wrapped, of course. Unless its too big, then it would have a big bow on it. I dont think I know ANYONE who just lays stuff under the tree.


4. Colored lights on your tree/house or white?
Colored...and a few bubblers.


5. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope. Do people actually do that? I just see it on movies.

6. When do you put your decorations up?
December first, usually. Definitely, under no circumstance do they go up BEFORE Thanksgiving. I like to wait until Jan 1st to take them down.


7. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Depends on what the theme is. We did all Italian one year and it was awesome. I love T's rib roast. My mom makes a killer fruit salad and cheesey potatoes. Heck, I like it all. I do cook, but I get off kind of easy on Christmas...not on Thanksgiving though.


8. Favorite holiday memory as a child:
I dont know...I guess it would be going to the Christmas Eve Disneyland employee party, since my dad was an employee. The whole park was shut down Christmas eve and only employees and family could go in and have a blast. On the way out they gave all the kids big stockings full of candy and toys. It was great.


9. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Im not sure..I just remember thinking about it and thinking it couldnt be true. I asked my mom and she caved...she thought at 17 years old, I should know the truth. Just kidding....I was like 8 when she admitted there wasnt a Santa.

10. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
We did that every year when I was a kid. Didnt do it last year with the kids, but this year we are.


11. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Uh..from bottom to top? Angel on last? No...lights, bead strands, ornaments, no tinsel or garland....not pet friendly.


12. Can you ice skate?
Never tried. I can roller skate my butt off though. Prolly not the same though huh?


13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Yes one year when we were living in New England, T got me a trip to NYC to the West Minster Kennel Club Dog Show at Madison Square Garden. He put the train tickets, the dog show tickets and hotel reservation in an envelope and set it in the tree. Hes the best.


14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Remembering the true meaning of Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Jesus and not getting lost in other the other stuff.


15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Apple Dumplings, and cake balls that I make.


16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Christmas Eve Mexican food, and going to the Candle light service at church. The other one is setting cookies and milk out for Santa, and throwing carrots out on the lawn for the reindeer (got that one from my wonderful daughter in law, M.). In the morning the cookies and milk are gone, as are most of the carrots..we leave one or two out there with a few bites out of them for effect.


17. What tops your tree?
An angel we have had since I was a kid. Its very special because it reminds us (my mom and I) of my cousin Paula who died on New Years Eve when she was 12.


18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
Both. I love the shopping!


19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Father Christmas by the Kinks or O Holy Night.


20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Only the fruity kind. Peppermint is only good with chocolate, coffee, or ice cream.

Musings on My Mind Monday

I just made that up. Im hiding again, although its not really doing me any good. AND Im on a break. See, I dont smoke anymore so I take "blog breaks" at work when I can. Its healthier for me and I get to stay warm. Anyway, its a shame one must hide on ones break, but alas I must. It will only get worse because GICOE (Guy in Charge of Everything) is moving across THE HALL FROM ME. Oh, how will I ever escape. Im afraid simply shutting my door isnt enough. He knocks. and knocks again. AND because he is the guy ICOE, I have to answer. sigh. I liked it better when I was out of sight out of mind.

Speaking of minds..I may be losing mine. Seriously. Ive been HEARING things. Last night for instance, Im sitting down minding my own business trying to watch part of a movie (because thats all I have time for), and I hear:

"MOMMY, MOMMY". Ever so faintly, but I heard it. Because it was so faint, I listened again. I heard it again. It was faint, so I assume it is coming from downstairs where the boys recharge all night. It definitely wasnt my daughter, as her bedroom is just a few feet from where I was sitting, and her door was cracked open, and her summons of me would have been louder.

So, I get up and head down the stairs and on my way, I think I hear it again. I get to the bottom of the stairs and hesitate to make sure its my smallest boy, who it sounded like, and not by big one. I hear nothing. So I wait some more...nothing. I go into little guy's room and he is sound asleep, all angelic and stuff, not a hint of anything troubling going on there. After I kiss his little cheeks, I check N's room...same there...completely out, all is well.

I go back upstairs and check on my daughter. Same thing...no problem.

What the heck? I KNOW I heard it.....is it a ghost? Am I nuts?
Then that morning, Im laying in bed and I hear singing. It wakes me up....and Im not happy about it. Its like 6 am, and everyone knows that I dont do anything before 730, so there are RULES about mornings in my house. I yell something like; "sing quietly please". No response at all. Puzzled, I get out of bed....everyone is still asleep. I dunno..its a little creepy though.

Wallowing...

Im wallowing. I dont think its hormonal either, which stinks because its nice when I explain away my mood with that. Unfortunately the timing is wrong for me to be able to use that.

I just feel blue, even though I really dont have reason to. I guess Im bothered by people who are two faced, and it seems like I am around an awful lot of those these days. I know everyone deals with that, but it seems like Im the one who is always falling for it. Im a crappy judge of character, that is all there is to it.

Im tired of people at work with these macho personalities who feel like they have to wield power over thier heads to prove they are men. Whatever...they just look stupid in my opinion.

I only got a few hours asleep, which truthfully, is probably a huge reason I feel blue. I was up late doing homework and its Monday and I can never go right off to sleep after the weekend.

Oh and Im on a diet....and I hate it. I have been pretty bad for a while, and so its time to knock it off. Ive done it before, I can do it again, it just sucks doing it. Bad time to do it too with all the Holiday goodies around, but....I refuse to gain one more pound, even for the Holidays. I will eat well on Christmas day though...so Im looking foward to that.

So...now Im going to write about all the things that I have to be happy about and hopefully that will make me feel better. Here it goes:

1)I just had a nice, but busy weekend in the big city with my family. Saw some cool stuff and it was like a mini break.

2)My kids are cute.

3)My kids are relatively well-behaved.

4)My kids are relativiely healthy.

5) My husband is a cool guy who spoils me completely rotten. I get just about everything I want, although I dont deserve it.

6)Christmas is coming...and I do love it.

7)My homework for the day is done.

8)My work work is done for the day.

9)I can go to bed early tonight if I really want to.

10)I have a Blackberry now (see #5)

There. That is ten things. I feel a little better, I guess. I just wish people didnt suck so bad and they were more trust worthy. That would be fantastic. I guess I should just get used to it.

a post about it being December (in other words I cant come up with a clever title)

Its December...already. It seems like last week we were trick or treating. I guess its true that when you get older, time flies right by.

My Christmas shopping is about 1/4 done. I wish it were all done, but its not and Im not sure when I will be able to do the rest. I missed out on Black Friday shopping this year. Which is a bummer because even if I wasnt buying anything, I like to see all the crazy people. Well, there is that and I honestly love the spirit that seems to be in the air. Good fun, I say.

I have a new playlist for your listening enjoyment. So, take off the mute and listen.

I once won a pizza party on a radio station in New England for listening to a few seconds of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by the Boss and identifying the song and artist. So, I hear the song and not only do I think of the Sopronos, or of being a teenager, but I taste pepporoni and mushroom. Not that you care about any of that, but I do and its my blog.

This will be the second Christmas with the kids and hopefully this year they will have learned enough about what families and kids do on Christmas that it wont be as sad and wierd. Maybe this year they will actually wake us up before its light out instead of being afraid to. Maybe this year when they come upstairs, they wont look at the presents and run back downstairs not knowing what to do. It will be their second year to decorate a tree. A asked if he can put the angel on top again. My answer, "of course you can:. It will be their second year of actually helping to decorate a tree, they dont remember ever doing it before.

I think the Santa thing is about done. I got caught the other day from S, she kind of trapped me, although I suspect she already knows, she IS nine. Here is how it went:

S: Mom can I have a (insert fairly expensive gift here)
Me: Hmm...might have to wait for your birthday to get that
S: Why?
Me: We just went to Disneyland (I know I havent posted about that yet....)that took a lot of our money.
S: Well...why cant Santa bring it...he can bring anything, right?

Hmm...didnt really know what to say to that. I guess the jig is up. She was probably testing me anyway. I just wish she wouldnt do it in front of A. I want him to believe for a little while longer.

Every night we are lighting a candle and reading a verse from the Bible having to do with Jesus's attributes that we should emulate. A was s little disappointed when all we did is light the candle, read the short verse and then he had to go to bed. He said "thats it? thats what we came back up here for after brushing our teeth?" Sigh. Im not sure what he was expecting...Mickey Mouse?

Heres hoping everyone has good 23 Days before Christmas.